I’ve pondered this entry for weeks. Not what to say… but HOW to say it. Life has taken a strange and sudden turn, yet it’s something I must share. Surely there are those who might gain strength from my experience.

Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate life…. to step back and remind ourselves of what matters most… to insure we are building a foundation upon the Rock of our Redeemer. As with anything worth having, this foundation does not come easily and can not be built in a day, yet one will never regret having built it… especially when the tide rises. (And the tide ALWAYS rises). There will come a day when frothy, violent waves crash down upon you. There will come a day when a sinister storm rises against you with a devious smile, laughing while it thrusts you into near darkness - winds screaming in your face and rains thrashing at your heart.

For me…. that day has come.

On Sept 22nd 2009, my wonderful husband of nearly 8 years blindsided me when he told me he no longer loved me and was leaving. I was beyond shocked. I had thought our marriage was perfect, minus the natural adjustments that come with being new parents. I truly led a blessed life, and I acknowledged the Lord daily for that. In fact, according to the world you might say I had it all. Cars, toys, investments, homes, an abundance of free time, and the ability to buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (luckily I was frugal and wanted very little). I was certainly grateful for these things… but at the end of the day I knew without a doubt that THINGS didn’t matter. “I’m just grateful to have a healthy baby and a husband who loves me. What more could I want?”

The divorce was short. Very short. He had no interest in separation, he just “wanted something different” and was eager to “move on.” I went from happily married to divorced in 6 weeks and I quickly became a better person. As I was stretched and extended, I choose to become pliable in the Lords hands, rather than hard and brittle. What ensued was beautiful.

I always imagined a woman in my position must come out torn to shreds and feeling hopeless - embarrassed at the predicament she’s been placed in. I was so very wrong. In fact, I’ve never been more confident. Experience has proven that confidence is an immutable result of one’s thoughts. And so I turned to the Lord, putting the affections of my heart upon him, and he has shown me His tender mercies. I have come out stronger than I ever fathomed I could be, and with no amount of incertitude or reservation all credit is given to Him. He is magnificent. An hour doesn’t pass where I am not grateful for the gospel and the “rock” and foundation which it has provided in my life.

As this new chapter in life begins I look forward to the growth and journey that awaits and feel blessed beyond words for the opportunity to someday become sealed to my little Gracie!

OK… I have a new blog. And this time I will be keeping up on it. … I think Please update me in your blogroll.

www.savedbygracie.blogspot.com

I have some updates in the works - A BIG UPDATE - but I thought I should at least start to get the word out that I’ve officially changed my blog. …. Hope to see you there.

- Natalie

A couple weeks ago my little sister had her 14th birthday, and as part of it my my went to Rexburg and stayed in a hotel. I came up last minute and was so glad I did. I had a great time and at 8 months old, Little Gracie had her first swim in a pool! Between the curiosity and excitement we managed to get a few pictures of her smiling… despite the “unimpressed” look on her face, she really seemed to love it . lol

It was so nice to have my mom taking pictures, as that’s usually MY job! To be IN a picture WITH my Gracie… well… what a welcomed change. I simply can’t cuddle or kiss this little girl enough!!!

Gracie’s little personality becomes more and more distinct every day. Yesterday I was holding her and realized she hadn’t watched any TV for a few weeks. I decided to put on a little Baby Einstein. Her eyes widened and she immediately zoned out. I might as well have not even been in the room, as she was not the least bit interested in me. I giggled at her reaction and leaned in to kiss her little cheek. She surprised me by pulling away, all the while staring intently at the TV. That threw me off so I left her alone and, to my surprise, she returned to an upright position. I tried again. Again she leaned just far enough away that I couldn’t reach her cheek. I tried a third time and sure enough, she pulled away again - still staring at the TV and never missing a beat. I laughed so hard, expecting to surely get her attention, but she didn’t even give me so much as a glance. It was as if there were a sound-proof wall and two-way mirror between us. She didn’t look, she didn’t smile, she didn’t even acknowledge my presence. She was not phased in the least. This made me laugh even harder! I tried to to kiss her cheek again and again for the next three or four minutes, always yielding the same result. … Oh how I wish I could have gotten it on camera. She sure makes me happy!

Well… it’s over. Summer came and went and I didn’t even take the time to blog about it. Gracie is now 8 months old… but better late than never. I have to be honest - it was a great summer!!! We didn’t play as much as we had hoped, but I still managed to get some beautiful pictures of my little princess. And princess indeed. She has become such a drama queen and is quick to scream if she doesn’t get her way. lol. Why didn’t anyone tell me it would start so early? Awe… it’s ok… she’s worth every ounce of drama and more. I’ll keep her. Little Gracie is the grace in my life and being her Mother is an honor beyond words.

Now… Pictures. Lots of pictures.

Her hair is NOT red… we were just under a red tent…

Staring intently at her little toes. She’s loved figuring those things out.

She made a new friend and would watch his every move.

Her first ride on the jetskis. She wasn’t impressed.

Kenzie (my little sister) stayed with us for a week. It was so fun having her here and we had a great time crafting, watching the Disney Channel and just hanging out. I loved watching her practice her karate, play with my dogs and entertain baby G. By the end of the week Gracie had a new favorite aunt. For now… ; )

Can’t you just hear her laughing? lol

I went to Petsmart while Kenz was staying with me and I thought it would be a good idea for Gracie to see a colorful bird - as she seemed interested. They got the bird out of it’s cage and about 1/2 second after I took this picture he squacked, and Gracie burst into tears. lol Well we tried. I realized a bird wasn’t for her… so that day we came home with goldfish. She loves those little guys.

Chris’s little sister, Sara, got married Sept 12. Gracie and I went up a few days early to help prepare while Chris stayed home and golfed in a tournament. He arrived the day of the wedding just in time to meet us out of the temple. It was a beautiful day and a perfect wedding.

Gracie & Grandma Grace, her namesake.

Gracie and I went to the zoo in Mid September to see the baby elephant. She didn’t care. I kept thinking she’d LOVE all the animals, as she adores cats and dogs, but she had far more fun watching all the children run around. … Maybe next year…. Thanks, Jeff & Catherine for going with us!

She’s finally at that stage where she’ll sleep on my chest. I LOVE IT!!! I would do it for her every nap and through the night if I could! (No my hair is not greasy, I just took a shower)

Gracie loves her BOB Revolution. Who am I kidding… I love her BOB Revolution. It’s been my secret to loosing baby weight. (Most of it anyway) She has, however, LOVED the daily runs she’s gotten as a result. I ran an hour every morning for 8 weeks straight, and she was always beyond content. Riley would tag along and play in the man-made lake along the way. She’s sure an outdoor girl. I’m gonna miss Summer!

Around 4 months she learned that her big toe was the perfect pacifier. This was a position I found her in often. She doesn’t do it anymore - so I’m glad I got atleast one good photo of it!

A random Sunday with Aunt Valerie.

Her first shoulder ride. She was about 3 months old.

She went to all of the REAL games with us (Soccer) and was such a trooper! You’d think all that noise would bother a baby, but she loved it and would just look around the entire stadium, enthralled with her surroundings. She’s their “smallest” fan.

We finally made a trip to see Great Grandma Harris. Gracie was tuckered out and fell right asleep. I went in the other room to grab something and while I was out Gracie’s eyes half opened and she realized the person holding her didn’t look familiar. Her eyes shot open and the screaming began. I guess she’s gotten to that “Stranger Danger” phase. lol

My little Homie. What up Gaaaaangstaaa

See. She doesn’t smile ALLLLL the time…

A classic teething pose. I LOVE catching her in a candid state… she’s such a doll and the light of my life!

She and Riley have finally come to terms. It’s hilarious the way he’ll lie by and put up with abuse. She pulls out hand fulls of his hair, nearly poke his eyes out, uses him as a pillow and pulls his ears. I don’t know why he puts up with it, but I’m so grateful he does. She ADORES him, and he seems to adore her. Lexi still doesn’t want much to do with her, but when I’m not looking she’ll try to start licking Gracie’s ears - her way of nurturing. lol

FINALLY posting pixs… over a month late. I LOVED her off-white vintage style dress, especially the split sleeves and lace at the bottom. Chris gave a beautiful blessing. Part of it stated that she lights up a room with her smile and that she should share that smile with others, as it will bring them happiness. Oh boy does it ever! WE LOVE OUR LITTLE ANGEL!!!

It’s apparent that blogging has become my last priority. I’m sorry to disappoint my enormous fan base but with weather like this, sitting at my computer is the last thing I want to do. I promise I’ll send a few updates in this month. In the mean time….

Gracie is now sleeping 9 hours each night. (I know I know - I’m “lucky.” My sisters hit it on the head when they said God sent me an easy baby because he knew if I got a hard one I’d never have another one. lol) Nothing is more rewarding than waking up in the morning, meandering into her bedroom and finding her in her crib, already wide awake, greeting me with her beautiful toothless smile. Lately, however, I find myself waking up before she does. I’m surprised that rather than going back to sleep, which is VERY MUCH in my nature, I lie in bed daydreaming about her. I smile, feel a slight adrenaline rush, can wait no longer and hop out of bed, excited to see my little angel.

This is a familiar feeling, and reminded me of something, but I couldn’t quite figure out what. Until today. Christmas! Even as an adult, Christmas still brings with it curiosity and excitement - the one day a year I would rather get up than sleep in. The idea of a great gift that might await. I love it!

How lucky am I, to wake up every morning to the best gift of all!?! It’s like Christmas… Every Day!

My “happy” little baby, wearing an outfit from my friend in Italy. (taken with my iphone. Great quality, aye?)

Her first shoulder ride.

The joy of my life!!!

Refer to Post “American Idol 2009″, Posted 4/2/09

Danny: Wonderful story, wonderful performer, we’ll see more of him. TOP 3
Adam: Without question the most talented, a true performer. (despite his slightly “creepy” factor) TOP 3
Allison: The next “most talented” - however, she won’t have the fan base to carry through to the top 3.
Kris: Ladies man=huge fan base of screaming (and crying?) little girls. TOP 3

Man I’m awesome! I should win some kind of award … ; )

Last week I was able to run for the first time since having my baby. (For the first time in nearly 12 months, actually). Man it felt good to get my sweat on! As usual, I watched TV while on the treadmill, and that day I found myself watching Oprah. The episode baffled me. As sweat was dripping into my eyes and off of my chin (why do I love that so much?) …. there sat a 400lb woman on TV, who had just received BRAIN SURGERY to help her loose weight.

“I’ve tried everything my whole life; Every diet you can imagine, even gastric bypass - and nothing has worked.” Seriously? You’ve tried EVERYTHING? Exercising? Hard? 45 minutes a day - everyday? I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as she enthusiastically announced, “I’ve lost 11lbs in 3 months! I haven’t changed anything I do, but now I make healthier choices. I don’t TRY to, my body just wants healthier foods.” Here’s a little secret America. You don’t need freakin’ brain surgery for your body to crave healthier foods. That’s a byproduct of exercise!

I’m so tired of all the lazy people in this world who want something for nothing. A magic pill, a special diet, lipo, SURGERY. My theory: Anything worth having requires work. A lot of work. That’s how God meant it to be. A healthy body is no exception.

What it all comes down to is self control. Such a fundamental principle, yet society gives it no merit and constantly praises those who escape it.

“The height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment… He who cannot establish a dominion over himself will have no dominion over others. He who masters himself shall be king.” - Miracle of Forgiveness.

I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. (It’s happened once before). Maybe there are people out there who’s brains are simply wired wrong and exercising doesn’t do a THING for them (riiiiiiight). I have to remind myself that all I can do is worry about myself, so I’ll continue to run my heart out and as the sweat drips from my face I’ll enjoy every second of it… after all…. I’ve earned it!

Every day Gracie makes me happy, and every day I tell myself, “It couldn’t get any better than this.” Well… it just did. Five minutes ago Gracie shared her first giggle with us. Not just mommy. Not just daddy - but BOTH of us. We were both there to share the moment, and we were both left in utter happiness, awe and amazement. I couldn’t hold back the tears, and I’d be lying if I said Chris’s eyes didn’t tear up. And the best part - we caught it on camera!!!

We were sitting on the bed and Chris was entertaining Gracie - a nightly ritual he looks forward to. He always spends at least an hour doing “baby sit ups”, helping her “stand” and trying to make her smile… Tonight he was making her legs “run” and she kept getting the biggest smile, while cooing. He said, “Look Nat. She’s about to laugh.” He did it again and I could feel that she almost had it figured out. I made him pause while I ran down 2 flights of stairs to grab the video camera, all the while crossing my fingers that I hadn’t missed the moment or that she wasn’t yet bored. I returned, got the camera rolling and Chris started where he left off, sound effects and all. Not more than two minutes later she let out a little giggle. Her first giggle!!! It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears and laughter, so as not to cover up her new precious sounds.

My heart is FULL and I simply can’t hold back the tears of joy. My little angel let out her first giggle! What an absolutely incredible moment! I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have caught in on camera, where I can re-experience it again and again.

“It couldn’t get any better than this.”

……….. Five minutes later she was sound asleep ……….